Meeting in the Middle
Hey PWEN people, it’s been a while. I’ve been taking a much needed break from writing in order to focus on my mental health, but the Lord gave me a word to share with you. For those who don’t know, Christmas time has become a difficult time for me because my mother, Peace, passed away on Christmas Eve last year.
The holidays were my mother’s favorite time of year because she enjoyed bringing her family together. We normally hosted Thanksgiving at our house and then we would go elsewhere for Christmas. Last year my mom spent Thanksgiving receiving hospice care and I couldn’t visit her because of work, a decision I still regret. We also didn’t get to share one more Christmas together.
With all of these rather harsh realities swirling around as we’re approaching the one year mark of Peace’s passing, I sunk into a deep depression, which became a full blown manic episode, after I stopped taking my medication for bipolar disorder. At the time, I wasn’t trying to do myself any harm. I was inspired by the faith of a man at my church, who put his medication on the altar, and declared that Jesus was going to heal him because he wasn’t going back home with his ailment.
I was believing in Jesus for the same type of healing. The problem was I definitely didn’t confirm if He was telling me to stop taking my medication, and I should’ve. However, despite my poor decision-making, Jesus still met me in the middle of the mess I created. He met me right in the center with the fullness of His strength, His unfailing love, and His all encompassing presence, when I felt most alone and ashamed.
Where did He meet me? The psychiatric clinic. See, my failure to take my medication, which led to my manic episode, did not come without consequences. I had lost so many days of sleep and couldn’t tell what was going on around me. My loving family, who by God’s grace I went to be with this holiday season, checked me in so that I could get the help I needed.
It was at this clinic that Jesus showed me that He heals through medication, and that this was how He was healing me back to wholeness. This realization blessed me profoundly. Within a few days of being back on my medication, I was back to normal mentally, and feeling truly loved spiritually.
I want to encourage anyone who is going through a mess this season. Don’t be afraid to expose it, because we serve the mighty God who will meet us in the middle of our mess. We serve the God whose infinite strength is greater than anything our situations and circumstances can throw our way. When we’ve created a disaster scene and end up stuck in the middle, this is the time to lean even stronger on the Lord. For in our weakness, His strength is perfected!
Til’ next time adieu.